I asked the question last Saturday. How that question came up? How I tried to find answers? What were the conclusions? Coming up in this post.
On Saturday morning, while I went to the barber’s for a haircut, I saw a couple with their daughter there. The little girl’s head was shaved. Her mother said, “She does not have nice hair. Will she grow nice hair after the shave?”
For me, the hair seemed nice. At least it was better than mine. But that’s not the real thing. The girl, like most of the girls, loved her hair and was crying as the electrical razor was moving over her hair. Her mother first said, “We’ll not throw the hair. We will braid it and keep at home.” While the girl was not convinced, “Don’t care what other will say. Your hair will grow up again. You need to be strong. You should not cry. Crying makes you weak.”
The first response my mind gave was that the notion was wrong. Occasional crying has actually helped me psychologically and emotionally. Later on, as I thought more, I felt that she might be right.
[Note: It would be unfair if I did not tell you that the woman was actually obsessed with the hair of her daughter. I was compelled to think that the hair was not bad at all. The couple might have thought about selling the hair to make a wig. I can’t be sure, however. God knows what they wanted to do with it- sell it or keep it on display.]
I debated within my mind. Whether or not crying could make someone weak, I could not say. Thankfully, I am a member of a blogging forum, Blogger’s World! (Blogging 101:Alumni, until December 9- you can note the old name on the web address!) I posted this question on Sunday, December 6, 2015 and received comments from about at least ten people.
The first comment came from Piyusha @Wandering Soul.
I strongly disagree that it makes one weak. People certainly perceive the one who is crying as weak, so it may make you look weak. But doesn’t make you weak. and honestly, which is better? To bottle up emotions inside you and not let them out because you are to scared to express yourself or to be brave enough to freely express emotions and hence, emotionally healthy even at the risk of being perceived as weak because people don’t understand emotions as much as they should or as much as they think do.
The next was from Heather @heathernotes.com, began the conversation with the evidence of physiological difference between men and women:
Scientists speculate that women cry more because they have shallower tear ducts than men.
The third one came from Anand/Vibrant @Blabberwockying. His comment was worth a post and he did it as well. In short, he said that crying could be weakness if we do not care when and where to cry. He also said that devotees cry for their God, thus attaining a deeper connection with the higher consciousness. (He was also attacked by other bloggers for the comment, but because that does not meet my objective here, I would want you to click the link to the forum above.)
Cathy Lynn Brooks@cathylynnbrooks.com said that children should be able (allowed) to express emotions and cry. Ishita @!shita believed that crying was healthy no matter however people looked at it. Ria @koko boocro, Amanda @raniamanda, 21 Time traveler agreed that crying was not a weakness at all. It was an emotional outlet, difficult to handle to most people. Darshith Badiyani and Bethany Harvey @Overlooked Nature said that people had to embrace crying as any other human emotions. Rashmi @Mind and Life Matters said that crying was just as important as laughing. Dawn Marie, Indira and shinepositivepower accepted that crying did not make one weak, but was a method of cleansing one’s soul.
It’s impossible to say whether crying makes one weak or not. Though, the participants in the discussion generally agreed that crying did not make one weak, I now believe that it actually depends upon the situation.
When can crying become your strength?
- When you are in a problem and need help, crying can help you get help easily.
- When you feel sad from deep within, shedding a little amount of tears can help your soul.
- Crying can be a process of healing your psyche.
- If you can manipulate someone by crying.
In short, when you cry to let out your emotions, you become healthy. What can be more beneficial to a person than a healthy mind?
When can crying become your weakness?
- When you cry in wrong places and at wrong times.
- When your fears and emotional problems are exposed to your enemies.
- When you can not decide when to cry and when not to.
The Dual Nature of People Who Cry
Being sensitive can make you weak, so is the condition when you become too expressive. Becoming insensitive or inexpressive does not mean you are strong either.*
Almost every one in the discussion believed that we cry while we are emotional and it is difficult to handle someone who cries often. We also say, “Don’t cry,” to someone who is going through an emotional stress. But we also encourage someone to cry if their burden can be decreased.
All in all, crying is a result of overwhelming emotions- sad or happy and it has to be accepted as a part of our emotional, spiritual and bodily health. (Crying is good for your eyes!)
[*Final Note: The topics of sensitivity and expressiveness were also prominently discussed in the forum. Here is the link again. These are the inherent characters of humans, which tell people of your strengths and weaknesses. For example, seeing you cry often (expressiveness) people might say you are weak, even if it is not the case. Also, crying may not always solve one’s problem.]