A Wedding (Part 2/4): The Groom’s House

(A Wedding is a single essay that I chose to break into 4 parts because of its length. This is the 2nd part. The feature photo was obtained from http://photos.merinews.com)


A pile of furniture items, plus a television arrive the groom’s house. The furniture set includes everything: a double-size bed, a sofa set, a glass table, a dining table, six chairs, the TV drawer, and a beautiful wardrobe. There is a problem. Where are they going to keep everything?

The groom’s house is not that small but renting two other flats have made it smaller. The porters do a good job of bringing the furniture set up to the terrace. They scatter the items all over, one after the other.

Dark clouds are hovering close to the hills. They have not hidden the sun but the cold wind is threatening to bring a downpour. I look at the groom’s house. I don’t see anyone. I find it a little strange. Where are all the people?


A couple of hours have passed. The clouds have darkened. My mom comes home from her work. She is curious. She opens the curtain and looks. “Who piled all those? And where are all the people?”

“Don’t know,” my sister and I say.
“It’s going to rain. If the furniture all get wet, they’ll damage soon.”

I look up again. It’s really strange. There is no hustle and bustle. What’s going on?

“Before my wedding, I’m going to sell everything and empty the house. A part of the expenses will also be covered,” I say, laugh and roll on my bed.

“What are you saying? Why would you do that?” Mom and sister are shocked and then they understand. “To avoid this situation?”

I reply with a nod. Mom starts laughing. I laugh more. Sister stops me.

“What would we do with the double furniture set?” I ask.

“One set for us, one for you and your wife. Don’t you understand?”

“No, I don’t. Why should the bride’s family should give everything to the groom? And why should a groom accept everything he is given? As if he does not have anything. As if they cannot buy anything on their own.”

“This strange new custom is making things difficult for the bride’s parents.”

“Exactly! They are not only sending off their daughter, they are also drowing themselves in debt in their old age. If they’re in their youth, we can expect them to earn again. How will they spend the rest of their life?”

Mom agrees. She understands the problems but can’t solve them. Neither can I, but point out another problem, “The bride’s parents send everything with their daughter so that the couple can easily separate from the family.”

“Yeah, she has everything already. She has every right to use her stuffs. She can also fight when others use her stuffs.”

“Couples also get lazy. They don’t have to work to earn anything. They don’t know the value of the stuffs.”
As I was preaching, I remembered that Mom too had got some furniture and stuffs from her parents. When I said that, Mom said, “But I left them in the home (in Terai). We had only a couple of utensils when we came Kathmandu. We earned everything one after the other. We didn’t expect anything from our parents.”

Will I expect anything from my parents once I get independent? Will bringing stuffs from my wife’s parents damage my self-esteem.

I can’t decide. The bride’s parents love their daughter, obviously. However, back in their mind they have other issues:

  1. showing off
  2. daughter’s security

“Showing off” is what Mom said “the strange new custom”. A part of our society is always better off. They can afford anything. Another part copies them. They don’t “cut their coat according to the cloth they have”. They borrow money and stuffs. They fall in debt. They show to the society that they are better than that uncle with the biggest house in the community.

I can’t describe the feelings parents go through when they send their daughters to someone else’s home. In rural areas, parents cannot meet their daughter for years. In some places, daughters-in-law have suffered for “not bringing enough dowry”. The groom’s family beat, burn and kill the bride. In urban areas, particularly in Kathmandu, such cases are rare. Daughters can visit their parents whenever they want. And the parents send away stuffs even if the groom opposes. Still, they are scared.

They are scared that their daughter may not get the love and affection she gets with them. They are scared that the mother-in-law and/or sister(s)-in-law may not stay in harmony for long. In their subconscious mind, they have implanted a thought that the bride and the groom may/will have to separate themselves from the family.

“Parents should teach daughters to be independent,” I say. “They should not show that their parents can do everything for them. They should also focus on their family’s integrity. They should not provide their daughters a backup for separation.”

Mom disagrees a little on my last statement. “They are not giving backup for separation. They do it thinking it is the best for their daughter. The bride should also take care of the husband’s parents as her own and she should not boast of what her parents gave. Her excessive pride can cause separation.”

We come to the same conclusion through different routes blaming the bride and her family completely and overlooking the problems that the groom and his parents might bring up. In almost every part of the world, a girl leaves her birth home at marriage. It is etched as one of the most important gender roles. Accommodation in the new home is always difficult. In absence of good facilitation, the bride may feel excluded and the rest of the family might ignore her. Both result in conflict.

Right now, however, we are looking at the dark clouds and the groom’s house again. The wind is howling. Mom decides to help them out. She flashes out amidst the clapping and sparkling clouds.


Wedding expenses have always bothered me. More often in the bride’s side. Groom and his family too have expenses but as my Mom says, “The only real expense is on feeding people. Actually, there is a net profit.”

The party begins the day (in some cases, a week) before the wedding. Usually, the day before the wedding, a Yagya is perfomed. Relatives of the groom, his neighbours and friends come to his home and take the Prasad.

The wedding reception is the occasion where the expenses are maximized. The same people who attend on the Pooja above, come to the reception as well but there is a substantial increase in the number of mouths, main course, desserts and beverages.

The net profit for groom comes with the “precioussss” yellow metal and papers that can be used instead of the metal. Both the bride and the groom receive a good amount of gold from both their parents. They again receive a hefty amount, in Kathmandu, during the reception.


The groom’s house is now covered by beautiful lights, almost as in Tihar. The family is exhilarated. A Laxmi is about to enter the home.


The Pressure of Growing Up

About a couple of months ago, I was watching an Indian kids’ dance reality show with my parents. My sister is a fan of the show and I too liked it. Until that evening.

A pair of girls came up to dance–a competitor and her mentor. The dance was a fusion of classical and acrobatics. The performance was beautiful and magical already. Then came a moment that made it ugly to me.

The little girl hung on to a rope attached to her mentor by her neck. It looked so dangerous that even the judges looked scared. The child kept smiling, though.

“Was such a life-threatening step necessary?” I asked my sister. She did not know what to say.

“It was not,” was my verdict. The show acknowledged that it was dangerous but did not warn the mentor to put a child on such a risk again. Even if she was warned, it was not televised.

Are we watching a circus in the name of a TV reality show? I asked myself.

When a circus puts children in danger for “entertainment”, we usually feel bad. There are several organizations working to rescue them from the illegal, perilous, and underpaying circuses.

The TV show is similar to the circus in putting the children in peril for entertainment. They may claim it is safer, but the children are swung on harnesses, rings and trailers with very little visible protection beneath them. Days of training against the fear of falling, and yet they smile. Everything they feel is overcome by the appraisal of talent and the way they handled the performance with maturity.

Maturity comes with training and experience. When a child becomes matured at an early age, she understands discipline, as well as responsibility. Being matured, however, is not the same as growing up into an adult. Some adults never mature.

But children participating in reality shows are not only expected to be matured, they are also expected to act like adults. It’s cringey when a five year kid dances on adult-oriented songs like Sheila ki jawaani, Munni badnaam Hui, and so on. It’s even more frustrating when you see how the kid became a helping hand to her poor family changed the economy and lifestyle forever. Parents living off on the income of a child less than sixteen years old! Isn’t it child labour?

When a three year child comes to my home and dances and sings “Didi ko magani bhaisakyo merai paalo chha”*, it looks and sounds cute but have we not unconsciously placed on her mind that she should be wed soon after her sister marries.

Children insist on listening to a popular song because we play those for them. We never care whether they are suitable for them or not.

About six months ago, one boy, four years old, came my home with his mom. They live in my neighborhood but very rarely come to us. As soon as he was in, he asked his mom her phone and ran a video. He read the lyrics of Shape of You and sang along. I had not heard the song before. I watched the lyrical video. One line caught my attention, I’m in love with your body.

Body? I asked the singer in my mind. Not “you” but “your body”! So you’ll leave her once she loses the shape.

I wanted the kid to turn that song off immediately. I disturbed him. “Do you know what this song means?”

I knew he did not understand. He looked at me, smiled ignorantly and shook his head. He did not stop, though. I did not have power to stop him. And now some girls are learning to dancing on the song. [Facepalm!]

Children all over the world are now undergoing the pressure of growing up. Recently, a twelve year girl won an extremely popular American TV reality show. In one episode, she made her puppet flirt with a male judge. People found it cute. A twelve year old, albeit indirectly, flirts with an adult and we find it cute. What sort of world are we living in?

I don’t know how many people think the way I am thinking. I don’t know if I am over-thinking. I don’t know if the things I am thinking are problems for all. But if there are problems, they must be resolved, and I am yet to discover an effective solution.


* A line of a popular Nepali song that translates to: “My sister is already engaged, it’s my turn now.”

​के पढेलेखेकाले देश बिगारेका हुन् ?

“पढेलेखेका मान्छेले देश बिगारे ।”–कसैले लेखेको थियो फेसबुकमा । पुस महिनामा देखिएको यो पोस्टको बारेमा घरमा छलफल भएपछि डायरीमा टिपेँ । समाज, कलेज, स्कुल र आफैँलाई नियालेँ अनि फेसबुकमा भेटिएको त्यस वाक्यको पक्षमा केही तर्क निकालेँ । ती तर्क पालैपालो राख्छु । आफूलाई पढेलेखेका मान्छेमा राख्छु । यसो गर्दा म आत्मालोचना पनि गरिरहेको हुनेछु ।
१. पढेलेखेकाले सानातिना काम गर्दैनन् । उनीहरू सानातिना काम देख्दै देख्दैनन् । भन्नलाई काम सानोठूलो हुँदैन भने पनि खाना पकाउने, फोहोर सफा गर्ने, झाडी उखेल्ने जस्ता कामलाई तल्लो स्तरको देख्छन् । केहीले त्यस्तो ठानेनन् भने पनि सकेसम्म पन्छिन्छन् । मोबाइल र सामाजिक संजाल ती कामबाट भाग्न सहयोग गर्ने साथी भएका छन् ।

२. पढेलेखेका मान्छे घमण्डी हुन्छन् । मास्टर्स, पीएचडी गरेका विद्वानहरूले जुन सम्मान पाउँछन्, त्यसले गर्दा ती अभिमानी भइदिन्छन् । पीएचडी गर्ने मान्छेले एउटा विषयको सानो अंशमा विद्वता पाएको हुन्छ । तर ऊ यसरी प्रस्तुत हुन्छ कि यस्तो लाग्छ उसले नजानेको केही छैन । पीएचडी ज्ञानको अन्त्य होइन भन्ने बिर्सेर ऊ ठान्छ, “म जति जान्ने कोही छैन । मैले कसैको कुरा सुन्नै पर्दैन ।”

३. नजानेको कुरा ‘मैले जानेको छैन’ भन्न नसक्नु पनि पढेलेखेका मान्छेको अहमको पराकाष्ठा हो । शिक्षकहरू प्रायः यस्तो विमारीका सिकार छन् । विद्यार्थीमा पनि यो रोग सारिदिन्छन् उनीहरू । यो रोगले शिक्षक र विद्यार्थीलाई एकअर्काबाट टाढिन सहयोग गर्छ । शिक्षक र विद्यार्थी नै एकअर्कालाई विश्वास गर्न सक्दैनन् भने राम्रो पठनपाठन कसरी हुन्छ ?

४. आफूले बिगारेको कुरा पनि अरूले सपार्दिओस् भन्ने ठान्छ्न् पढेलेखेका मानिस । अधिकांश समय अरूलाई गाली गर्दै बिताउँछ्न् । कतिपय बुद्धिजीवीहरू त राजनीतिजस्तो तुच्छ केही छैन भन्छन् तर ताक पर्दा राजनीति आफैं गर्छन् ।

५. पढेलेखेकाले कुरा घुमाउन जान्दछन् । शब्दजालमा माकुराले पुतली फसाएझैं फसाउन उनीहरू माहिर हुन्छन् । नियम पनि उनीहरू नै जान्दछन् अनि नियम बङ्ग्याउन पनि । एकछिन कुनै चोकमा गएर उभिनुहोस्, जानाजान ट्राफिक नियम पालना गर्ने पढेलेखेका मानिस सयौं भेटिन्छन् । सरकारी काम नगर्ने, काम छिटो गराउन घुस दिनेहरू पनि पढेलेखेका मान्छे नै हुन् ।

आफूलाई सधैं सही र अरूलाई सधैं गलत देख्ने, अरूका कुरा सुन्न नचाहने, आफ्नो ज्ञान सीमित भए पनि सर्वज्ञ ठान्ने पढेलेखेकाहरूकै कारण हामीले दु:ख पाएका हौँ भन्ने निष्कर्ष पो निकालेँ मैले त । सहमत हुनुहुन्छ ?

Dashain, October 10 and Some thoughts

Dashain, Nepal’s biggest festival, began on the first day of October. Almost all Nepalese festivals are based on Lunar Calendar. So, this was an unusual coincidence. But we don’t commonly use the English calendar. (We call it English. Is it Roman? I’m confused!) You know, it went unnoticed, at least to me, until now.

The second day of Dashain marks the beginning of  Navaratri- the nine days (or nights?). Navaratri literally means nine nights but we worship nine Goddesses these nine days. I’m really confused by the definition.

The Goddesses we worship are the representatives of Nature and Mothers, we say. However, some people kill female foetuses because they want sons. Men believe sons carry on their races. Do they really? 

Genetically  speaking, a son gets a Y-chromosome from their father and an X-chromosome from their (This singular “their” is confusing me now!) mother. Geneticists say, “Y-chromosome is almost empty. Most of the characters in a son are related to their (singular, again!) mother.” While daughters have two X-chromosomes, one from father and one from mother, they seem to carry father’s legacy more than their male siblings.

Practically, legacy and races are carried on by both the sexes. A male and a female give birth to or adopt children, groom them up and those children represent whatever they learn from parents. That’s what legacy is. We are confusing legacy with birth, while it’s actually is karma. (Wow, I can use this word in English without an explanation!) While talking about race, we narrow ourselves into some surname or a community. Why not think about the human race as a whole?

I have been deviated from what I wanted to say. I was talking about Dashain and with it, ‘To eat or not to eat (meat) is the question.’ Bali (sacrifice) is defined by experts differently based on their preferences. Some say, “Sacrifice your animalistic characters.” And some, “Sacrifice your animals.” To me both seem right but I have to follow one. I follow the latter. I eat meat and I can not support the previous. I’m already a devil to them. But being a vegetarian (Is this a polite word? Somewhere I read, it is!) does not particularly mean one is an epitome of goodness. I can point out some people but don’t want to do it here. Find them out yourselves, will you?

I don’t think it would be right to say, “Don’t eat meat because it is bad.” If it were that bad, we would never be introduced to it in the first place. If you want to eat, eat it. If you don’t want, don’t. But don’t show hatred towards those who eat meat. With increasing droughts, desertification, and probable nuclear apocalypse, meat-eating people might find it easy to survive than the rest. Who knows if a lifetime vegetarian will have to eat meat in such a situation? (I remember watching a scene like this in some movie. I don’t remember the name though.) Because at times of wars and apocalypse, moral values don’t matter. Only thing that counts is survival.

I don’t want to debate though. I just want to say that Navaratri has come to an end. The debate thus ends until the next year.

And I want you to celebrate this wonderful day, which has already passed in some Asian countries, and is about to end in less than an hour in Nepal. It 10th of October. 10th day of the 10th month. Calendars tell me it’s World Mental Health Day. (I nearly wrote World Health Day. But Mental Health Day would also be on Health Day according to WHO’s definition.)

If you have been really confused reading this article, all I wanted to say is that I am totally confused over these days. Confused mind might not be a good health indicator but we live confused lives in this confused world. Why should I only feel guilty about it. Let’s share the guilt together. To sum up, I would like to end this article with a comment (I have not copied it except the first sentence- that was the easiest!) on Science Alert’s Facebook page:

Humans are strange. They create moral principles, discuss over what they should do to make their lives peaceful and religious. But they also create weapons for total destruction.

खोइ नागरिक समाज ?

हिजो अचानक यो प्रश्न मनमा उठ्यो । देशमा राजनीतिका नाममा ठगी भइरहँदा, कुटनीतिका नाममा लुटनीति चलिरहँदा अनि राज्य पुनर्संरचना (शब्दै कति गार्‍हो रै’छ टाइप गर्न !)का आवाज उठिरहँदा नागरिक समाज कता हरायो?  दश वर्षअघि राजाको प्रत्यक्ष शासनको विरोध हुँदा “नागरिक समाज” एकदम प्रचलित थियो । नागरिक समाज नभएको भए  २०६२/६३को आन्दोलन नै हुने थिएन ।

तत्कालिन अवस्थामा नागरिक समाजका कसरी बनेको थियो ? के उद्देश्य थिए ? इतिहास नबुझी हुन्न भन्ने ठानेर गुगल सर्च गरेको थिएँ । हिजो नै सेतोपाटिमा चुडामणि बस्नेतको एउटा लेख प्रकाशित भएको रै’छ । उक्त लेखलाई आधार मान्दा त्यो समयको नागरिक समाज तल दिइएका वर्गको समूह पो रै’छ-

  • समाजका केही अगुवाहरू,
  • काठमाडौंमा केही बुद्धिजीवी भनेर कहलिएकाहरू, र
  • सञ्चार क्षेत्र
  • केही गैरसरकारी संस्थाका अगुवाहरू

नागरिक समाजको उद्देश्य थिए- १) माओवादी द्वन्द्वको वार्ताद्वारा समाधान; २) लोकतन्त्र र गणतन्त्रको प्राप्ति; ३) समावेशीकरण; ४) राज्य पुनर्संरचना ।

पछिल्ला दुई उद्देश्य माओवादीलाई मुल धारको राजनीतिमा ल्याउने कडीका रूपमा मैले बुझेको छु । ०६२/६३को आन्दोलनमा ती सवाल कसरी उठेका थिए भन्ने चाहिँ मलाई याद छैन । (म बाह्र वर्षको मात्रै थिएँ नि त !) अघिल्ला दुई उद्देश्यमा जनताको प्रत्यक्ष चासो थियो र राजनीतिक दलको स्वार्थ पनि त्यहीँ गाँसिएको थियो ।

त्यस ताका राजाले शासन आफ्नो हातमा लिँदा दलहरूमाथि जनताको विश्वास नै थिएन । उनीहरूले गर्ने विरोधका कार्यक्रममा जनता जाँदैनथे (रक्तकुण्ड, कृष्ण अविरल) । उनीहरू एउटा माध्यम चाहन्थे जनतासम्म पुग्न । नागरिक समाज त्यस्तो एउटा पुल थियो । त्यही भएर नै नागरिक समाजविना आन्दोलन सम्भव थिएन ।

जनता आन्दोलनमा होमिए । राजाले शासन छोडे । विघटित प्रतिनिधि सभा पुनर्स्थापना भयो । लोकतन्त्र आयो । राजाको शक्ति सीमित भयो । संविधान सभाको निर्वाचन भयो । गणतन्त्र घोषणा भयो । जनताले आन्दोलनमा भनेका थिए- “खबरदार नेतगण धोका देलाउ ।” नागरिक समाजलाई भनेका थिए- “यी नेतालाई मुर्ख्याइँ गर्न नदिनू ।” 

तर लोकतन्त्र र गणतन्त्र आउँदासम्म नागरिक समाज हराउन थालिसकेको थियो ।

सेतोपाटिको लेखअनुसार जतिजति समावेशीकरणको अवाज उठ्यो, नागरिक समाज फुट्दै गयो । जबजब राज्य पुनर्संरचनाको कुरा उठ्यो, नागरिक समाज विभक्त हुँदै गयो । मधेस आन्दोलनले यसमा झन् मद्दत गर्‍यो । क्षणिक उद्देश्यका कारण नागरिक समाज टुक्रिएको हो भन्ने म मान्दछु ।

तत्कालिन नागरिक समाजले देशको मुख्य शत्रुलाई निर्मुल पार्न कुनै कदम नै नचालेको जस्तो म देख्छु । नेपालका मुख्य शत्रु हुन्- अस्थिरता र भ्रष्टाचार । यिनै दुई कारणले गर्दा राजनीतिक दलसँग आजित भएका जनताले राजाको प्रत्यक्ष शासनलाई समर्थन गरेका थिए । यिनै दुई कारणले गर्दा राजाको शासन डगमगाएको थियो । यिनै दुई कारणले भुकम्प पीडित जनताले उचित राहत पाएका  छैनन् । यिनै दुई कारणले नेपाल विदेशी चलखेलको केन्द्र बनेको छ । यिनै दुई कारणले जनता गणतन्त्र देखि नै आजित हुन थालिसके । समस्याको चुरो बुझेर पनि बुझ पचाउने राजनीतिकर्मी र बुद्धिजीवी भनाउदाले गर्दा नै हाम्रा समस्या समाधान नभएका हुन् ।

अफसोस, नेपालका बुद्धिजीवीहरू र सञ्चार क्षेत्र   जातीय, क्षेत्रीय, वर्गीय  रङ्गमा रङ्गिएका छन् । यस्तोमा हाम्रा समस्याहरू झन् बढ्दै छन् । कहिलेसम्म ? प्रश्न अनुत्तरित छ ।

99 years: Is Tri-Chandra showing signs of Old Age?

The Past

When Tri-Chandra College was inaugurated 99 years ago, the then Prime Minister Chandra Shumsher JBR had said, “I have done a mistake. This college will end the rule of the Ranas.”

Though Chandra Shumsher’s division of the Ranas into different classes was among the primary reasons for the fall of Ranas, he was not wrong in understanding the strength of higher education, in changing the society.

The Present

On Sunday, 5th Bhadra, 2073 (23rd August, 2016) the 99th anniversary of Tri-Chandra Multiple College was celebrated. I am not sure what the Tribhuvan University, college administration, students’ union thought about the programme that was organized. Personally, I was not excited. There are several reasons behind my dissatisfaction.

The management of the college is not satisfactory. I am not sure how this college is managed. New students are met first by the cadres of “Students’ Union”. They guide new students well- which is nice. When it comes to handling complex situations, the college administration should guide and help students. The administration, however is almost inaccessible without the mediation of Students’ Union. Because of the inefficiency of the administration, the Students’ Union have been influential over the students as well as the college administration.

There are several unions “for the welfare of students” but none seem to be effective in managing the infrastructures needed for smooth running of the college. The college, divided into two blocks: Ghantaghar block and Saraswati Sadan block, looks better as long as you are outside of the latter. Inside, it has several problems beginning from staffing to the classroom infrastructures.

The Ghantaghar block, the older block gives me a Gothic impression. The building is old. Whitewash has been replaced by mosses and lichens, walls have inhabited ferns and Peepal, the classrooms have infrastructures seemingly from the other century, and the recent earthquake worsened its state even more.

On the Ghantaghar is a Sports Hall. This is also the hall where the 99th anniversary of the college was celebrated. The preparation was evident. The hall looked cleaner than ever. The outside of the hall had been recently painted. The black colour on pillars was painting the hands as well. Grass was cut after more than six months, revealing the junk that had been hidden. No one had cared to throw them, though. (Incomplete preparation, oof!) 

Talking of problems, I must tell you that anyone can enter the college with no restriction, whatsoever. And not all of them come to study. Everyone has seen people smoke marijuana within the college premises. Yet no one does anything to them. There are two reasons, basically: 

1) They can do anything when they are “high”.

2) They have connections with Students’ Union.*

And the weed is dense behind the Ghantaghar block.

And the college has always had ill fame for its gang wars.

I have already talked about academic problems in my earlier post: Why Classes Become Boring.

The Future

Based on the number of students being admitted to the college (which is mostly artificial**), some leaders of Students’ Union had said, “Tri-Chandra should be a university.” 

I had agreed then (when I was a newbie there); I differ now. With the problems the college is facing, and the negligence of administration as well as that of Students’ Union in solving them, the college does not have a bright future ahead. Unless the problems I have mentioned are solved, the college will remain infamous as the centre of gang wars and fights.

* Having a lot of Students’ Union is beneficial to some extent. Nobody dares to touch others because of the the connection they might have.

** The number of students is mostly artificial. Most students admit so that they don’t have to lose a year or two while they try for medical or engineering seats. 

डा. केसीको “आमरण” अनशनको सार्थकता

करिब तीन साता भयो डा. गोविन्द केसीको “आमरण” अनशन सकिएको । यसपटकको आठौं अनशनमा उनले धेरैको समर्थन पाए । के उनको आन्दोलनले देशभरका जनतालाई सुबिधा होला ? के नेपालको संविधानमा लेखिएको स्वास्थ्य सम्बन्धि हकलाई यो आन्दोलनले सहयोग गर्ला ? यी प्रश्नहरूको जवाफ खोजिनेछ यस लेखमा ।

अनशनको शिलशिला

डा. केसीले यसपटक समेत गरेर आठचोटि अनशन बसे । उनको समर्थनमा युवाहरू सडकमा ओर्लिए; सोसल मिडियामा I am with Dr. KC भन्ने नारा लगाए ।  शिक्षण अस्पतालका डाक्टरहरूले स्वास्थ्य सेवालाई असर हुनेगरी आन्दोलनलाई समर्थन (या विरोध) गरिरहँदा जनताको सहज स्वास्थ्य सेवा पाउने हक कुन्ठित भयो भन्न भने मैले हिच्किचाउनु हुँदैन ।

डा. केसीका अनशनको क्रम

असार २१-२४, २०६९ (४ दिन)

साउन २७-भदौ १, २०६९ (७ दिन)

पुस २७-माघ १०, २०७० (१४ दिन)

माघ २५-फागुन ३, २०७० (८ दिन)

फागुन ८-१९, २०७१ (१२ दिन)

भदौ ७-२०, २०७२ (१४ दिन)

असार २६-साउन ९, २०७३ (१५ दिन)

स्रोत: The Himalayan Times

जनतालाई सास्ती

डा. केसीले पाँचौ या छैटौं पटक अनशन बस्दा डाक्टरहरूले आकस्मिक बाहेकका सेवा बन्द गरेको सुन्दा मैले फेसबुकमा गुनासो पोखेको थिएँ- “जनताको सेवा होस भनेर गोविन्द केसीले अनशन  बसेका छन् । अरू डाक्टरचाहिँ सेवा बन्द गरेर समर्थन गर्दै छन् । ठीक उल्टो भएन र ?” मेडिकल पढ्दै गरेका मेरा एक मित्रले जवाफ दिए- “दुर्गमका मानिसको सुबिधाको लागि काठमाडौंका केही जनताले दु:ख पाउनु गलत होइन *।” मलाई चित्त बुझेन; काठमाडौंका जनताले चाहिँ किन दु:ख भोग्नुपर्ने ? तिनै मित्रले मलाई भने- “तिमी त मुर्ख रैछौ, कुरा नबुझ्ने ।” मैले विवाद गर्नु जरुरी थिएन । सायद काठमाडौंवासीले केही सुबिधा त्याग गर्नुपर्छ भनेर मैले नै नबुझेको थिएँ ।

तर एकचोटी चित्त नबुझेपछि अर्कोपटक त्यस्तै कुरा सुन्दा रिस उठ्दो रैछ । डा. केसीको आन्दोलन ताका मेरो परिवारका दुई सदस्यलाई आँखा जचाउनु पर्‍यो । लगियो नजिकैको त्यही आन्दोलन चलिरहेको अस्पताल । दिउँसोको सत्रमा चालीसजना मात्र बिरामी हेर्ने भनिएछ । हुन त एकचलीसौँ नम्बरमा परेर पनि उपचार त त्यही दिन भयो तर त्यसपछि उपचार नै नपाउने पनि त थिए नि ! के शिक्षण अस्पतालका विद्यार्थीले आफ्नो मात्र सुबिधाका लागि जनताको करबाट छात्रवृत्ति पाएका हुन्; गोविन्द केसीको समर्थन गरेका हुन्  ?

डाक्टरका लुकेका स्वार्थ

“डाक्टरको जस्तो कुल्ली काम कसैको हुँदैन,” अस्ति निमेष दाइ भन्दै हुनुहुन्थ्यो मलाई । मैले पनि त्यसै बुझेको हुँ । दिनभर अनेक थरीका बिरामी हेर्‍यो । न खानाको टुँगो छ न बस्नको । राति अर्जेन्ट फोन आयो भने “दिनभरी थाकेको शरीर” पनि भन्न नपाउने । दत्तचित्तकासाथ उक्त पेशामा लाग्ने मानिसहरूलाई म सलाम गर्छु । तर यस पेशाको व्यापारिकरण गरिएको छ भन्ने सबैलाई थाहा भएको तथ्य हो ।

“ठूलो भएपछि डाक्टर बन्नु !” हामीले दशैँमा यही आशिर्वाद पायौँ । हाम्रो समाजले डाक्टरलाई भगवान मान्छ । डाक्टर बन्न गाह्रो छ अनि त्यसपछिको सम्मान चाहिँ अथाह । त्यसैले प्लस 2 साइन्स पढ्दा पनि मेडिकल इन्ट्रान्स भनेर एक्स्ट्रा क्लास राख्छन् । “गुण पनि धेरै खायो भने तीतो हुन्छ” भन्ने नेपाली उखान छ । सम्मान धेरै गर्‍यो भने दम्भ बढ्छ । नेपाली डाक्टरहरूमा पनि दम्भ भेटिन्छ । त्यसैले त उनीहरू अप्रेसन गर्न ढिला पुग्दा कसैले केही भन्दैन तर कोही बिरामी ढिलो पुगोस्, उसको सातो लिन्छन्  ।

दम्भ बोकेका डाक्टरले चलाएका छन् मेडिकल कलेज । त्यहाँ पढ्छन् पैसा पेल्न सक्ने (वा ॠण काढेका) परिवारका छोराछोरी । तिनको उद्देश्य- पैसा कमाउने । ॠण तिर्नु पर्दा अर्को उपाय पनि त छैन । जब कोही बिरामी हुन्छ, ऊ यस्तै स्वार्थले घेरिएको ठाउँमा पुग्छ ।

यस्तोमा एउटा डाक्टर (गोविन्द केसी) लाई निस्वार्थी रूपमा देखाइयो । र त उनलाई धेरैले पत्याए । तापनि उनले काठमाडौंमा दश वर्षसम्म नयाँ मेडिकल कलेज सञ्चालन गर्न नपाइने सहमती गरे सरकारसँग; साथै मनमोहन मेडिकल कलेजको सम्पत्ति नेपाल स्वास्थ्य विज्ञान प्रतिष्ठान (वीर अस्पताल) ले किन्ने व्यवस्था गर्न बाध्य बनाए । यसपालिको सहमतिले निम्नलिखित प्रश्नहरू उब्जाउन सक्छ:

  • काठमाडौंको बढ्दो जनसंख्याको चापलाई अहिले भइरहेका अस्पतालले दश वर्ष थेग्न सक्छन् ?
  • अहिले सञ्चालनमा रहेका मेडिकल कलेजको स्तरोन्नति कसरी र कहिलेसम्म होला ?
  • मनमोहन मेडिकल कलेज सञ्चालकले सुलभ शुल्कमा सेवा दिन्छौँ भन्दा किन दिइएन ? केसीसँग सञ्चालकको व्यग्तिगत टक्कर जस्तो पनि देखियो कि ?
  • निजी मेडिकल कलेज खुल्दैनन पो भन्न खोजिएको हो कि ? वीर हस्पिटलले किन्ने भनेको मनमोहनको सम्पत्ति उसले बेच्न मानेन भने डा. केसीले फेरि अनशन बस्लान ?

नक्कली डाक्टरका सम्बन्धमा

नक्कली डाक्टरको विगविगी भएको यो समयमा गुणस्तरीय सेवा पाउनु त “आकासको फल आँखा तरी मर” भनेजस्तै भएको छ ।सिआइबीले समातेका नक्कली डाक्टर काममा फर्किए रे । डा. केसीको आन्दोलनले यो मुद्दा किन छोएन ? फेरि समावेशी कोटाका नाममा ८८% ल्याउनेले नपाएर ५०% ल्याउनेले मेडिकल गर्न पाउने प्रथा हुने गरी आन्दोलन गर्लान् कि नगर्लान केसीले ? नवौँ अनशनमा (भइहाल्यो भने) चाहिँ सलाइनविनै केसी बस्न सकून् ।

आन्दोलनको सार्थकता

हरेक प्रदेशमा एउटा स्तरीय मेडिकल कलेज सञ्चालनमा आए सबैलाई फाइदा होला । र ती छिटो बनून् । देशका सबै क्षेत्रमा स्वास्थ्यसेवा सजिलो गरि पाइयोस् । व्यापारिक उद्देशले अस्पताल नखोलिउन् । डाक्टरले “हिप्पोक्रेटिक ओथ” ननाघून् । अनि नक्कली डाक्टरले शिर नउठाउन् । 

मेरा पछिल्ला दुई कामनाका सम्बन्धमा केही कुरा नउठेकाले गोविन्द केसीको आन्दोलनलाई म अपुरो ठान्दछु । असल उद्देश्य राखिएको भनिएको अनशनले ती कुरा नसमेटेकाले फेरि यस्तै आन्दोलन नहोला भन्न सकिन्न । तर आन्दोलन गर्न पाउने हक प्रयोग गर्दा कसैको स्वास्थ्य सेवा पाउने हक कुण्ठित नहोस् ।

    [थप कुरा:

    * मेरा मित्रलाई जवाफ (ढिलै भए पनि) 

    केही समय पहिले काठमाडौंवासीले मधेसको समस्या बुझेनन् भन्दै नाकाबन्दी गराए मधेसी दलले । त्यसको विरोध व्यापक भयो । तिमीले के गर्‍यौ मलाई याद छैन तर काठमाडौंमा बस्ने बित्तिकै सुबिधाभोगी भन्ने बुझ्यौ कि कसो ? नत्र अन्त उपचार गर्न नपाएर यहाँ आएका बिरामी पनि त हुन्छन् नि ! तिनले चाहिँ काठमाडौंमा सुबिधा लिन नपाउने भन्न खोजेका हौ कि ? या तिमीहरूलाई आफ्नो ठाउँमा अस्पताल खुल्दैछन्, काठमाडौं आउनु पर्दैन भनेका हौ कि ? तिम्रो तर्क मैले किन नबुझेको रैछु भने नि तिमिले पढ्ने टिचिङ हस्पिटलमा निम्न र मध्यम वर्गीय बढी आउँदा रैछन् । धनीका लागि त ग्रान्डी, वयोधा छँदैछन् । निम्न आय भएकाका लागि आन्दोलन हुँदा किन त्यस्तै आर्थिक स्तर भएका जनताले दुःख पाउने ?
    ** आमरण अनशनमा सलाइन चढाउन हुन्न भन्ने गोर्खाका नन्दप्रसाद अधिकारीले आफ्नू छोराको हत्यारालाई सजाय दिनुपर्छ भन्दा ज्यान गुमाए । उनको समर्थनमा उठेका फाट्टफुट्ट स्वर त्यसै हराए । सायद न्यायलाई व्यक्तिगत स्वार्थ ठाने धेरैले !

    *** यो लेख आउनमा निमेष अधिकारी (माथि निमेष दाइ)को महत्त्वपूर्ण योगदान छ । उहाँको ब्लग पनि पढ्नुहोला ।]