Those Untold Feelings

The boy was looking down the street. He had been waiting for someone and it had not even been ten minutes since he had arrived. However, he felt restless. He had been looking at his watch more than fifty times and had taken short glance to his right every ten seconds. He would  stand up and walk a few steps. Less than a minute later, he Several things were running in his mind. He had never felt that nervous before. Neither had he ever gone through a situation like he was then.

Her arrival changed him a bit. She had finally come- he felt a little relaxed. But a few seconds later, his nerves got him again. He felt heat on his ears. She came up smiling at him and seeing him nervous, said, “Hi! You don’t look well.”
“No, I’m fine,” the boy said immediately.

She caught his lie as he spoke. He has never been able to lie to her. She knew something was wrong. She pestered on him. The boy did not say anything but smiled as he often did. He had so many things in his mind but had no words to speak them out. What was happening to him? He knew he was being nervous but why? He had talked with the girl before. They had talked fluently over different things. Why wasn’t he able to say everything he had in his mind.

Whether his smile worked or the girl had something else to preoccupy her, she changed the topic, “How did your exam go?”

The boy had just taken an exam for the government service. He had done well. He said so. She simply said, “It might have been easy for you. You have a knack for general knowledge.”

The boy just smiled. It was a fact known to most of his friends and he had no way but to accept the fact. GK had always been his talent. That was why almost everyone thought he could be a section officer easily. He did not want to talk about the exam and his employments opportunities that day. He was being distracted. “Other things aside,” he thought, ‘I must speak out what I actually want to.’

Determined, he had just opened his mouth when he heard the girl beside him say with ecstasy, “You know what? My boyfriend proposed me yesterday evening in front of the family. We are getting married as soon as the results of my back paper comes out.”

The boy was speechless. He could not let out another word. He looked at the girl who was almost talking to herself about the last evening. He could hear the excitement in her voice and he could happiness in her eyes. What could he say? He had known her boyfriend. He had even imagined how she and her boyfriend would have reacted if he had let his heart out that day. Now, knowing that they were getting married soon, within the split second, he decided to stuff the things he had been planning to say for long. He would never again bring them up on the surface.

She was still talking as he was looking at her with a smile on his face. Her happiness- that was what he had prayed to God everyday. He could have given up everything for that. All he had to do was to keep the secret of his heart to himself. Without ever letting it out, he could she smile on her face and happiness in her eyes.

He stood up all of a sudden and then said smiling, “Congratulations! Wish you a happy married life.”

“I’m not married yet,” the girl objected.

“You’re definitely becoming a bride very soon. I wish you well.”

“You are coming to our wedding. I will make sure you’ll be invited.”

“You’ll make sure of that, I know but I might not be able to go then. That’s why I wish you a blessed conjugal life,” the boy said.

“You wished me thrice already,” the girl showed her presence of mind. The boy replied looking at her eyes, “So that it might be lucky for you.”

She did not get logic in what he said. She laughed heartily as she said, “You can be so funny at times.”

After almost an hour, the boy received a call on his cell phone. He left immediately. But he felt there was a hollow in his mind which could increase if he did not do something to cover it up.

Indecision crept on him, though. He could not think anything except that he had been late. So late that nothing could happen. All he could think of was crying. That night, as the silence increased, he cried. Tears left his eyes like a stream and sobs changed into hiccups. He cried so much that only sleep could break it. When it came up, he could not say. All he could say was that his pillow had been wet with his tears and that he could never forget her.