सुविधाले सम्पन्न भएका ठाउँमा
चेलीहरू माइती गइरहँदा हुन् ।
हासो र खुसी नराखी दाउमा
आमाबाबालाई खुसी राखिरहँदा हुन् ।।
***
चेलीहरू माइतीघर आउलान् भन्ने
आशैआशमा बित्छ यो जुनी !
आमाबाबालाई खुसी राख्लान् भन्ने
सपनामै अल्झन्छ यो जुनी !!
******
आशैआशमा बित्छ यो जुनी
जन्मघरमा फेरि पाइला राखुँला भनी !
सपनामै अल्झन्छ यो जुनी
आमाबाबासँग फेरि भेट होला भनी !!
***
जन्मघरमा फेरि पाइला राखुँला भनी
सोच्छु बिहा भई आएको यो ठाउँमा ।
आमाबाबासँग फेरि भेट होला भनी
नौ डाँडापारिको त्यो जन्मगाउँमा ।।
******
[मलाया शैली पान्टुममा नेपाली कविता लेख्ने यो प्रयाश । यस शैलीमा पहिलो स्टेन्जा (stanza) का दोस्रो र चौथो हरफ दोस्रो स्टेन्जामा पहिलो र तेस्रो हरफ बन्छ्न् अर्थात् दोहोरिन्छ्न् ।
Advertisements
I liked that. I hope it didn’t lose too much of it’s meaning when I translated it with the WordPress translator.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am not sure because I cannot use the translator. Would you please show me the translation, Mick?
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is what it gives me:
Maiti’s Miss Chelley
Facilitated places
Chelleyes are going to Maiti.
Do not worry and feel free
I am happy to keep my parents happy.
Chelleyes may come to my home
I hope it’s too much!
Parents should be happy
Suddenly the dream gets shocked !!
***
I hope it’s too late
Keep the rest of the house again!
Suddenly the dream fits it
Would you like to meet your parents again?
To restart the birthplace
The place where the thought is coming.
Would you like to meet your parents again?
In the birthplace of nine dwarfs.
[This is the way to write Nepali poem in Malaya style Pentum. In this style the second and fourth of the first stanza will become the first and third of the second stage, which is repeated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s funny and disappointing at the same time that the translation is so awful.
The poem is about daughters who cannot go back to their Maiti (birth home) because of various reasons.
In the first two stanzas, her parents are lamenting that had she been an urban area, she would have come to them regularly. They would be happy to see her but their lives pass away without getting to live their dream.
In the next two stanzas, the daughter laments that her dreams too have become unfulfilled and that she wishes to go back once again to the home and village (which is miles–nine mountains is a metaphor used in Nepali) where she was born.
The translation has reminded that I did a mistake by not writing the poem in English myself. I had tried but the emotions were lost. I will try again to write this in English now.
Thank you, Mick 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, that is a real shame, Sandeep. Your English is so good that you should do your own translations, I think.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will bring it up pretty soon, Mick. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person